ooglie googlie
They're a little creepy.
Hehehe.
Happy Wednesday!
I'm sitting here looking through a catalog of art fair information, trying to decide when and if I should start applying. I've been working on some production work (with the intent to distribute) but haven't hit the perfect idea yet. I don't have slides either, and it seems the higher end festivals want an image of your setup, not just your work, so I'd have to start with a small fair just to get a good shot of the space before I could enter a larger show... Anyway, maybe I'll try for one of the september shows fairly close by.
As exciting as that is, I thought I'd take a little break to say hello.
Hello.
Not a Morning Person
One of the things people told me was that being a mommy would change my schedule. I would get up earlier and go to bed at a more reasonable hour. The baby would force me to become something I've never been - a morning person.
I was looking forward to it, really. I thought, "I'll be so much more productive!" Being on the same schedule as the rest of the world, as opposed to my lifelong ideal of sleeping from 3-11am, would have such a positive impact. This was going to be great! Ok, maybe i wasn't that excited about it, but I did see some benetifs.
Welll, the last few weeks E had been waking me before 8am most days. Today it was 6:45. In the morning. Lets just say that magical transition to "a morning person" has not happened. I still can't get to sleep before 2am, and if you do the math, that's not eight hours of sleep. I'm decidedly not a morning person. In fact, I'm barely a person at all in the morning.
No more monkeys (jumpin' on the bed)
You know how they say babies move fast - you can't turn your head even for a second... well, yeah. they're right.
Elliot juust fell off the bed.
Before you decide I'm neglecting my baby, let me defend myself - I did catch him. We have a normal morning routine that goes like this: Wake up between 7 and 8:30. Have breakfast by 9. Mommy checks email and baby plays in crib til 9:30. Mommy makes the bed. Mommy knits or spins for a while as baby plays in saucer or on floor. Here's the part that got us in trouble. 10:30 Baby and mommy play in bedroom. Baby plays with dangly toy gym while mommy plays with yarn. Well, it seems dangly toys were not as interesting as rolling today, because there he was playing with them, in the CENTER of the bed, I looked down to knit a few stitches, I looked back up, and there he was throwing himself off the side of the bed head first.
Mom mentioned the other day the amazing speed with which she could get to the other side of the room when my brother or I were about to fall off something. I hadn't really had that experience before, but it's a lot like the feeling you have in a car accident when time slows down and you have time to think, clearly, "I can't catch him with needles in my hand or i'll poke his eye out. Best set those aside. Oh, look, there's a basket of clothes there on the floor that the cat has knocked over. Good. That will pad his landing. Oh, but the side of the basket might scrape his head. Better get a hand under him and guide him away from that. Yes, there, that's better. Oops! A little too far - now he's going to hit the hardwood. Better brace him better and get a hand under his head. Yes. That's better. Uh oh, didn't realize he'd roll like that! Now he's going to..."
Clunk.
The baby pauses for dramatic effect.
Blink
Blink
"WWWAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
After a quick assessment I realized he had not a mark on him - no scratches, bumps, or bruises. All things considered he's hit his head harder and cried more falling over from sitting on the floor. I offered him the boob, and he latched on, sucked twice, and grinned. We were sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked over the side and laughed a little, almost as if to say "That was fun! Let's do it again."
Long Dark Tea Time.
So here I am at 3degree. I was signed up for a "big" pw group this morning which turned out to be a small pw group. I expected it to go 11-1:30. Instead it was 11:15-11:45. This would normally be fine. They were a lovely group and all went well, but there were only 6 of them. Six. And two of us helping. It takes about 10 minutes to make an assisted paperweight.
Sigh.
Oh, right, I haven't explained the problem. I signed up for ANOTHER pw event, which starts at 2:30. I didn't bring my knitting. I can only play so many games of scrabbulous. I'm bored.
Only right now do i realize that since Oct. 14, I have really not been bored. I have had the best toy in the world to fill the slow times, and I did not appreciate him till just now. At this moment.
Boredom. Not ennui, just plain boredom.
Baby sleeps alone. A sad story....
Since his birth E has both laughed and cried in his sleep. This has fascinated me because, at birth, I couldn't imagine what he was dreaming about that would cause happiness or sadness. It became more rare as he got older - by 3 months old, he was still laughing in his sleep quite a bit, but rarely crying (self congratulatory pat on the back for happy baby here). When he did laugh in his sleep I still wondered about why - what he could be thinking/dreaming. By 5 months even the dream laughing was rare.
Last night I put him down to sleep in his crib. It wasn't the first time - at about 6 weeks (?) he went for a week sleeping every night in his crib, but then suddenly it was unacceptable. Screaming, crying, and generally NOT sleeping happened for HOURS when we put him down. Was I patient and consistent? Did i time his crying and let it go a little longer each night before comforting him? Did I read up on the Cry It Out theories? No. None of the above. I tried for 3 nights, the first night letting him cry (on and off) for over an hour, the second night 1 hour, the third 10 minutes. Yes. Little E had done *his* reading, clearly, because I was the one being trained. And that sits just fine with me. Night four he came to bed with me, and has since then.
Up until last night, that is.
So I set him down, and right away he began to cry. Not the screaming, shrieking cry of our first self sleeping attempt, but a sad, whispy, pathetic sleeping cry like newborn Elliot made. He was fast asleep, hands over head, not-moving-but-crying. This made me sad, because I felt like he was having lonely dreams. But, on the other hand, he does have to learn to sleep in his own bed. And he was asleep. I turned on the monitor and went to bed. At various times through the night I heard little dreaming sobs, but he never really woke up.
This morning he was happy to see me just before 7am. We had breakfast and hung out and played till just moments ago, when he fell asleep. I laid down next to him, and without waking he lit up with a huge smile, and began to laugh.
Hitting the Road
So we're off for Elliot's second road trip tomorrow. The first was just a day trip, this time we are overnighting. I'm already paranoid that I'll forget something important. How much do you pack for a baby??? I've been making mental lists all day, but perhaps it would help to write it out. Here goes:
Things to bring on the road trip:
The Baby
Diaper Bag, including:
15 Diapers
Butt Cream
Portable Wipes Container
Extra wipes
2 Changes of Clothes
Busy Book
Octopus Toy
Thermometer
Baby Tylenol
Sunscreen
Sun Hat
Teething Ring
2 Burp Cloths
Baby Overnight Bag, including:
Baby Quilt for floor time playing
3-4 favorite toys
Pajamas
Washcloth
Baby Soap
Formula
Rice Cereal
3 clean bottles
Pacifier (just in case?)
Jacket
Snugli Carrier
Random Extra Equipment:
Stroller
Pack & Play
Activity Mat with Dangling Toys
Still Camera
Video camera
Ok, that's 29 things for what is sort of a 24 hour trip. Overboard? Probably not. I'm sure I'm forgetting something vital....
Goodness Quakes
My house is not quake safe. I know this. I'm a ceramic and glass artist with too many things on too few shelves. My husband is into trinkets and antique thingys. Between us we have filled a 3 bedroom 1.5 story house to the point that there's rarely a visible surface anywhere. The book cases, the coffee table, the china hutch, the dining room table, the couch, the dog - whatever it is, if it's in our house it's covered with, well, everything.
Those who know and love us hoped that the baby would change all that. And it has. Now our overwhelming mass of stuff is peppered with sprinkles of bright, colorful, wonderful baby goodies.
The sad point of this post is this - we have a lot of stuff. Here in the midwest we had a little earthquake this morning. So naturally our house made the sounds of the proverbial bull in a china shoppe.
Karl asked me this evening if anything had broken.
Well, if it did, I can't tell. The top layer seems remarkably intact, and I'm too scared to dig deeper.
A crawling baby will have to change our lifestyle, right?
Paper Toys for Rainy (or sunny!) Days
These are really cute:
The Toymaker
I haven't made any yet, but I'm glad they are out there. I need to get some card stock to print on.
Call it Ennui
So. Ennui.
Better than boredom, because it's French. It sounds so - - - sophisticated.
It's not "I'm bored with my wonderful life."
Au contrair, alors, non!
Instead, "I have ennui."
Boredom implies there is something lacking - something missing.
Whereas ennui is something you Have;
something whole and complete in it's French Word angst.
C'est tres belle. A beautiful thing.
I suffer from it now and then - I sometimes compare my life to that of my more adventurous or affluent friends, and find my life a bit dull.
Oh, what I might have done, what I might have been - oh, the lost potential of my possible self....
So many places I'll never see, so many people I'll never be.
But my own here and now, well, it's pretty great, really.
My wonderful husband, beautiful son, and loving family
beat any other version of me without them. . .
And yet....
Maybe...
Yeah. Ennui.
